Why do women choose hidden influence over open negotiations and honest agreements?

14 августа 1987 г., 10:02

Автор: Э.В. Гончарова, психолог, коучВидеоблог на YouTube

Because women very often in a couple (in a family) choose their dependence on a partner in the field of financial security. And they choose not as a result of any agreements with a man, but as a result of passive dumping into such a role.

By the way, in a very difficult role for an adult, which is very difficult for a woman at different stages of family life.

Yes, it is a difficult experience for an adult to depend on another person and not control the satisfaction of their needs and life themselves, so they will do their best to find at least some way to manage what is happening.

The way women choose is simple-managing a man through his feelings. The man in such a pair manages through money (not immediately, but over time, when he feels how dependent the partner is), the woman manages through his feelings, especially at the initial stage and hopes to feel on the horse and protected by her manipulative abilities for life.

Therefore, financially dependent women are very manipulative people! The meaning of manipulation, impact on man is that they do not know how and, moreover, categorically do not want to openly formulate their requests, their thoughts constantly directed to the man himself "wanted" to serve her, because he loves her, because should because... because she thinks it's safer for their relationship.

But the feelings of another person are a very weak lever of influence, which many young women naively believe, imagining that they will be a man to turn all their lives, as at the stage of the honeymoon.

Yes, women have a habit, developed over the centuries, of turning men around. This is how women tested the strength of their feelings, the power of their influence, before completely surrendering to the mercy of men.

Yes, it was at the mercy of the woman, because the woman was under full male jurisdiction, the man was responsible for her survival.

And men understood that it is not a woman's desire to sit on their neck, it is so organized society. But be that as it may, such an organization of society is a very big test of men's ability to "not push the weak".

However, at some stage, the man begins to understand very clearly that all the levers of influence are in his hands. When does this happen? When he is emotionally released. When the pouting lips and teary eyes do not touch him. That's it, now he needs a result – and exactly the one he wants, and not the one that a woman wants to impose on him, like his own! The games are over, he felt his strength. And now it will be as he says, as he chooses.

Women rely on the decency of men and put pressure on the decency of feelings. But not every man can be convicted of decency and not every man can be pushed. Especially if for a long time, when he was emotionally dependent, the woman did nothing but push him.

What can be contrasted with this scenario? To stop training in the manipulation of men. IMMEDIATELY, FROM THE FIRST DAY OF DATING AND COMMUNICATION STOP! Learn to negotiate with men, and not just push their own when they are emotionally dependent. Please note that only people who know their rights in a couple well can negotiate - because they have discussed them!

For example, a woman may not work in a couple, but not because it somehow happened by itself, but because she agreed with the man about it and discussed what the man wants to get in return for his total support of the woman. How long will it provide for such arrangements? What might prompt him to renegotiate the contract? How will she then decide on her life support when the man renegotiates the contract? And so on.

In General, everything is open, transparent, without female manipulations and without male subsequent recoupments on a woman for all her sins...

And we, girls, need to start openness! Simply because we lose more when we don't sit down at the negotiating table, relying on our feminine art of manipulating on a sense of duty, guilt, and so on... We, of course, call it in other words, we talk about male decency and honesty. We want decency and honesty? We learn to sit down at the negotiating table and learn how a man sees his decency and honesty, and how he sees, by the way, our female decency and honesty. At the negotiating table, we will see-does our man know how not to pull the blanket over himself? Can we? Can we negotiate not only from the first position, but also from the second, third, and fourth?

Good luck to us, girls!

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