Activating positive emotions

07 ноября 2015 г. в 13:52

Книга Сергея Шипунова «Харизматичный оратор»Глава 2. Как преодолеть страх перед аудиторией

"Emotional kick" or healthy anger

A wedge is knocked out with a wedge

The abyss cannot be crossed in two jumps.

Someone from the wise

As the Chinese say, the journey of a thousand li begins with the first step. But this first step is often the most difficult.

It's like walking into a cold sea. You touch the water with your foot - and goosebumps down your back... Brrr... But after running away, you rush into the embrace of the waves with your whole body, it turns out that it's not so cold, and you swim with pleasure for 5 and 10 minutes. The most difficult thing is the first step. It is much easier to plunge into the sea element with one jump than to enter the water gradually.

I remember how I went with my fellow coaches for the first time to "read poetry on the Arbat" (it was in Sokolniki, so the name of the event is in quotation marks). Funny. It seems that everyone has already had 5 years of coaching work behind them. It happened that they worked for a few days with an audience of about a hundred people. But for twenty minutes we shifted from foot to foot and asked each other a favorite question for psychologists: "Are you scared? Do you want to talk about it?" But! Oh, a miracle! As soon as we properly pushed each other with good kicks to pronounce the first word, there was no stopping us. We almost pushed each other off this patch to communicate with the audience, which turned out to be surprisingly friendly. For such situations when it's scary to take the first step, I want to offer one technique. It can hardly be called kind and comfortable. But you can safely call it effective, and for this you can forgive some rigidity.

The reception is simple

You internally start to yell at yourself properly:

"Come on! Go ahead! Don't wait! Rush! Start talking! You will do it!"

Sometimes you can yell at yourself and not so politely, but using the additional features of the great and mighty Russian language!

"You! Freak!.. you're afraid! Come on, get up and start talking! You brat!"

It is important not to say all this to yourself (in a quiet intelligent voice), namely to yell. Pumping yourself up in full with emotions, energy, strength.

At the same time, the fear of the audience immediately becomes small and insignificant compared to the fear of an angry subpersonality that screams and rages inside you.

And this force, which was pumped up by such an explosive method, is more than enough to make the notorious first step, after which everything already goes easily and by itself.

PS: Be careful with this technique after all. If there are other, more environmentally friendly methods in the arsenal of promoting yourself at the first step, use them. Well, if not, then it's better to do and repent than not to do and repent!

Thanks to Mikhail, who sent a good illustration for this reception.

And my reception is like this. It is taken by analogy from a fight. In general, I am a friendly person. But there were moments in life in which there was not without physical contact.

During a conflict situation preceding a fight, I always have a "paralysis" of muscles from fear. The stomach relaxes, the hands do not move. And it's useless to say something to yourself, because you can't control yourself. The voice is shaking. In this case, it's not like fighting - it's hard to move.

But an amazing thing happened to me when I got hit. The fear was disappearing so quickly that I didn't have time to notice. The thought arose in my head: "What the hell...?!" A wave of heat instantly swept through my whole body, looseness of movements came, and such power filled me from the inside that I felt like a god. I didn't care about anything anymore, and I just demolished the enemy, who immediately turned from an indestructible giant into a weakling.

I was not driven by anger, but by inner strength. And anger was the "starter" for inner strength. It's just that anger is one of the most effective ways to use internal reserves and self-confidence. And it can be used dosed to "launch" this confidence.

In other moments of my life, preceding various victories, I used this technique. I was saying a couple of phrases to myself.

What the hell?!..

Can't I do it? I can't handle it?!

Is that an obstacle? For me?

And at the same time emotionally caused anger, protest, indignation, outburst. It is easy to recreate this for anyone who has already been in an extreme or difficult situation and, having received a blow (preferably physical - understand correctly), "let himself out". For one broken, two unbroken are given.

So I started the mechanism of mobilization of internal reserves. At the same time, there was an emotional outburst, which, among other things, partially extinguished the internal dialogue, and hence the pressure of the mind. It was comforting. The feeling of excessive importance of what was happening disappeared, and there was a slight indifference to everything. "I don't care."

The point is that a drop of anger, caused in various ways, mobilizes inner strength and erases the excessive significance of what is happening, which leads to cold determination, self-confidence and emancipation.

All the best to you!
With respect,
Michael

Another example of using healthy anger as an emotion that allows you to cope with the fear of public speaking.

It can be difficult for me to speak in front of an audience. I hear my own voice, it's kind of unnatural, like a stranger. This happens quite often. There is some stiffness and "stupor". But there were a couple of times when I was angry. I don't know if this is correct in relation to the audience, but it was much easier for me to tell something, improvise and respond to the audience's reaction. In general, this anger was not in the literal sense of anger, but "healthy" anger bordering on fearlessness and some kind of detachment from the process itself (in the sense of not focusing on communication problems).

With respect,
Maxim G.
Odessa

This healthy anger - "Fuck you all! I will behave the way I myself think is right!" - frees me from focusing on what is really secondary: "And what will they think of me, and what will they say about me?"

However, the same effect can be obtained not through anger, but for example, through emotions such as passion, enthusiasm, confidence in the topic. When it burns inside: "Guys! You just can't imagine how lucky you are! I'm going to tell you now that you will carry me in your arms after the presentation!" And then the fear - "What will they think of me?" - goes somewhere. Completely different thoughts arise: "And what can they think, except good?! I'm carrying such "good news"!!!"

USE AN EMOTIONAL KICK OR HEALTHY ANGER TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
BUT IT'S BETTER TO KICK YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE EMOTIONS!

With difficult problems, we go to a psychologist

Of course, in our culture it is not yet customary to work out your problems with a psychologist, as is customary in the West, where it is already a rule of good form to visit a personal therapist once a week. But nevertheless, it can turn out to be a good and effective way to solve the inveterate problems that have arisen in the past, but prevent you from performing successfully in the present.

  • Работа со страхом
  • Работа с эмоциями
  • Харизматичный оратор

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