How can a woman speak convincingly

02 июля 1987 г., 09:03

Автор: Э.В. Гончарова, психолог, коучВидеоблог на YouTube

​​​​​​​Friends, I will clarify this request a little and reformulate it. What do you need to be able to make our words heard by men and perceived by them as weighty, serious, and important?

The usual communication algorithm for girls is as follows: we tell you in detail why and why we tra-TA-TA-TA-TA.... we want something. Only after this long and tedious tra-TA-TA-we finally report the important thing. This method of presentation always causes great irritation in men.

And how can it be otherwise? How do men communicate their thoughts? Any decision a man makes immediately. Without lengthy explanatory introductions. Immediately - the essence: what and from whom he expects.

If we, dear girls, want to communicate effectively with men, we need to adopt this algorithm.

Let's take a business case as an example. Set: select a company to solve the company's problems. And what is the best way to report the completed selection? "The best company to solve this problem is so-and-so.” Everything! Short and clear! And then, if the Manager asks you for a justification, you again briefly voice: the first is the best price and quality, the second is a good reputation in the market, and the third is an office in our city. If you are asked to clarify the rationale: for example, what does “best price-quality " mean, then explain.

After all, you have all this information, and you made a decision based on it. But do not dump it in advance! This approach infuriates the male sex. This is what is called women's idle talk. The girl was told to choose a firm, and not to demonstrate her conversational abilities!

In a written conversation, the message is built in the same way: immediately - a ready-made solution. And if in oral communication we respond - to questions, then in writing-we wrote a ready-made solution, and then you describe the rationale for this ready-made solution at the bottom. The Manager wants to read it. If he doesn't want to, he is satisfied with your decision, and it seems reasonable to him even without your reasons, he won't read it. And will be grateful to you for this form of written presentation.

If you briefly answer the question of how to talk to men on serious topics-speak immediately the ESSENCE, without eyeliner.

For example, let's look at what the essence of such a long start from a housewife wife is “here you understand..., Sergey's jacket is torn and Tanya's shoes are worn out.... they are worried... because ... they really need that... Tanya has a friend in a brand new dress and so on”

The bottom line - a woman wants to ask her husband for an additional amount for expenses. Accordingly, how should she build a conversation? Immediately say what you need. What do you need? 20 thousand! Tell me about it:"Alexander, this month we need an additional 20 thousand rubles for clothing for children. Can you identify them?” If a man considers it necessary - he will specify what kind of clothes, whether they are appropriate, etc., does not count (100% trusts his woman) - just say “Yes, well, I will allocate this amount”.

This is a conversation for five minutes, if a woman has mastered this type of conversation! It is called-pyramid point up - immediately the main thing, and then, if necessary, explanations! Women's usual conversation algorithm is a pyramid with a point down. And this is a torment for any man - until women get to the point in their speech - they will blurt out this essence so much... that a man is not able to perceive anything at all! It has already heated up in fifteen minutes, or even twenty, eyeliner to the main thing! He was already stupefied by this number of words! And the second point, he also formed a stable idea-since I have been led to something for so long, something is wrong here.

Therefore, dear girls, so that a man takes your words seriously-just say the essence!

Can you formulate it before starting your conversation? In a nutshell?

Try it! And only then go to negotiate with a man!



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