Teens in crisis? We won't have it!

14 июля 1987 г., 08:34

​​​​​​​Denis is eleven, and he began to argue strongly with us - with me and my wife. On any issue, he has his own opinion, and he is across. This is joyful because the son is growing up smart, but dangerous because we may lose control of our very, very lively child. This is undesirable. What should I do?
I can talk Best. So I started doing it: after dinner, we finished our tea, the three of us - my son, my wife, and I-and I started talking to my wife and then to Denis. I said:

- Did you know that a person's nose grows continuously throughout their life? From birth to death. The older a person is, the longer their nose is, and the oldest people always stick their long noses where they shouldn't. But our other organs grow unevenly. Who knows which part of the human body stops growing first? You won't guess - legs. As a guy from a child turns into a teenager, he seems to be still growing, but in fact his spine is growing, and the length of his legs almost does not change. And this is good, you don't need to buy trousers for growth! But there is another important age change, my beloved wife - our children are starting to get smarter quickly! Parents usually suffer from this, but, unfortunately, it is inevitable, at least in our case! Denis is just like me, he had a good head since childhood, and now it's just the age when you, Denis, are developing your mind at a faster pace. I seriously: I did not expect, Dennis, what in your thinking will start to evolve so quickly. And Denis (I turn to my wife) does not argue with us because he necessarily does not agree with us or, especially, against us. It's just that his mind is growing and trying out all the information from different angles. You know, when puppies are teething, they can chew all the furniture in the apartment! Why? Because they need their teeth checked and sharpened. That's how smart children at this age have a need to hone their thinking. Previously, children just believe their parents, but now they want to think through everything, check everything, and make sure of everything themselves. Therefore, my beloved wife, be prepared that our son will soon terrorize us, ask a lot of questions, doubt everything - well, in General, behave like a very smart person. Be patient and proud! Son, if your mother can't stand you, run to me. I will discuss with you any questions and from different sides, even if at first it seems to me that you contradict me. And mom, (look at her) when she gets used to it, too!

Mom nods. My son is interested, he smiles and listens carefully further. I continue:

- In fact, at this stage of growing up, there is another important feature. For you, Denis, more important is the information that you receive not from us, parents, but from your peers, from a group of equals with you. This is your age feature, and it's right for you. In life, you need to be able to act with equals, and more than that, you need to learn to become a leader among equals. When you have this question, Denis, come to me, I understand this issue and I think I can help you with this.

My beloved, enough or continue our lecture on the peculiarities of growing up of the younger generation!

- Go on! - just in case, making a disinterested appearance, said Denis.

"No, I won't! Only if you talk me into it. Say: "Daddy, our favorite, the most-the most expensive, we are so interested!".

The trick worked, the son stopped playing Buka, smiled, and then together with his mother, the chorus, they asked to continue. Hurray! Continue:

- The third moment is the most difficult for our beloved mother to survive. Namely, all mothers have a habit of calling their children children all their lives, or there "my child". Imagine, a guy can already be 20 years old, and his mother still calls him " my baby!". Well, from this moment on, Denis should no longer be called a child, but a son, or even easier - Denis! Like an adult. Denis, please-mom will definitely be wrong about this. Please treat this with patience, it is not easier to raise your mother than you, so what will she call you a child - together you squat 10 squats. You can do push-UPS.

Let's practice! Mom, what are you going to call our baby now? - It is clear that this provocation was followed by friendly family squats. I continued again:

So, dear son, the fourth feature of your growing up is that only real things become interesting at your age. Just talking about nothing, talking at all, not knowing anything useful - these conversations become uninteresting. Everything that is alluvial or empty is discarded. You will be more and more drawn to what is not empty, to what leads to real achievements. And I hope that we, your parents, are successful enough that it always makes sense for you to listen to us. I think we will remain interesting conversationalists for you throughout the new age. We do not speak empty words, our words are for business. We are alive, flexible, open - and we respect you.

The son nods and is pleased. I'm closing:

"Well, if I don't know the answer to your question, I'll always be honest and say I don't know.

Then for five minutes we talked about some current little things... - let Denis settle this down! And five minutes later I returned to the topic and as if for myself summed up: "So, adolescence is three things. Development of the mind, - times. You learn to work together with your peers, - two. And three-you focus only on the information that brings real success in life. You discard everything that is empty and unnecessary. Can you repeat it?" The son repeated it easily, but reminded: "Mom, I'm not a child!"

"Then let's kiss mom!" - and my son and I did it in a race.

Since that day, there have been no heavy disputes. There are many more discussions and interesting discussions. He brought some topics, and I prepared something for him, including controversial topics, especially for brain training. And I began to tell him more about what influences success in life. And once-even about their business at work. And I saw Denis growing up. We became interested in talking to each other!
Say that adolescence is a difficult age. It is not true. Just not everyone is lucky with their parents!

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